CLINTRONxD

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CLINTRONxD

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3116
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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CLINTRONxD's page activity

Visits<b>Yuri_Fan_Girl</b> - the 06/05/2009 at 8:02pm<b>purelife</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 1:16am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 1:59pm<b>GtaTomV</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:01am

CLINTRONxD's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CLINTRONxD's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

by UGH / 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

by sigh / 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I spotted my neighbour's cat sitting on their front garden. I bent over and began walking towards it with my hand out saying, "Hello pussycat". I was only a few feet away when I realised I was talking to a white bag of sand. I turned to see my family in hysterics. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Animals

Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML

by ElevatorThug / 08/25/2009 at 5:17am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML

by Becky / 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the grocery store getting bananas and there was this real hot guy next to me. He said hey beautiful so I smiled. He then asked if I was free on friday night. I smiled and said "yes why do you ask?" He looked up from the bananas and pointed to the bluetooth in his ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML

by DuckyKiller / 06/20/2009 at 8:11am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

by boinger / 06/03/2009 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. 50 min into the tattoo on my back, the artist says "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

by Daniel_rules / 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I went to the gym that I just became a member of, making an extra effort to look good because I've heard there are hot guys there. The lady at the front desk said they need to take my picture, then took a second look and said, "Don't worry hun, we'll take it when you're more prepared." FML

by ididlookgood / 04/13/2009 at 11:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous