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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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CL41RE

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CL41RE
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5175
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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CL41RE's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML

#5165059 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (36198) - you deserved it (10501)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a fight and went 'right!' and marched over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML

#4912143 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (30337)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by deven (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (31616) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (39416) - you deserved it (11107)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

#4053861 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (34739) - you deserved it (4644)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

#3945236 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (49458) - you deserved it (4518)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (18250)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (36382) - you deserved it (11302)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had sex for the first time with the guy I've been seeing about a month. When we finished, all he wanted to do was kiss and cuddle, and all I could think about was how soon he would leave so I could cry. FML

#2138638 (481)

I agree, your life sucks (55647) - you deserved it (19942)

On 05/21/2009 at 5:38am - intimacy - by ouch (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (86778) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking to my boss about her children. She told me she didn’t want them to develop any problems by letting them sleep with the light on. I didn’t tell her last night I slept with the light on because I’m scared of ghosts. FML

#1622822 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (13412) - you deserved it (29913)

On 05/04/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by pussy (woman) - Italy

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

#470055 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (27714) - you deserved it (70203)

On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)