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CJpony's FML badges
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CJpony's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard back from a company that I recently interviewed with. They told me I didn't get the job because "it was obvious that I had been coached." I wasn't. Sorry that I actually researched the company unlike the rest of the nit-wit candidates. FML
by jobless / 07/09/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML
by bustedfornuthin / 09/08/2010 at 12:42am / United States (New Mexico) / Transportation
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.…