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CAGymnast's favorite FMLs
by Crazy09 / 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I were in the middle of a heavy make-out session when his cell rang. Normally, he'd ignore it. This time however he pushed me off of him and said "Shit! It's probably my girlfriend!" I thought I was his girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2009 at 5:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML
by engaged / 03/29/2009 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML
by Michaelichael / 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
by lollipopp56 / 03/26/2009 at 2:09am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
by clementine_k / 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy