Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 December 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 415
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About C00kiesNcream : Men were made because vibrators can't mow the lawn (:
Sarcasm is the best policy. Honestly.
Grammar Nazi
Rumours are true. I carry nutella and olives in my bag
Do I like you? Probably not... unless you eat Bueno the right way! ★
Yes, I will stalk you even if you don't want me to

C00kiesNcream's page activity

Visits<b>S232Flash</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MattBenid</b> - 9 hours ago<b>knightofdarkness</b> - 13 hours ago<b>Fl0at0n</b> - 18 hours ago<b>perfect_insanity</b> - 20 hours ago<b>wheresmymary</b> - 20 hours ago<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - yesterday at 5:24pm<b>IAmZim</b> - yesterday at 3:57pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 1:26pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - yesterday at 12:40pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:23am<b>brook823</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:02am<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:45am<b>Ecudaniel</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:19am<b>seifsoliman</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:04pm<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:27pm<b>legodude28</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:53pm

Liked!<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - yesterday at 11:25pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:00pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:59pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:17pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:26pm<b>Markovski</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:42pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:24pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:55am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:07am<b>darlee815</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:43pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 4:40pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:31pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:55am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:05am<b>johndog699</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:28pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:03am

C00kiesNcream's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of C00kiesNcream's badges

C00kiesNcream's favorite FMLs

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (123) - you deserved it (2288)

On 03/21/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Nexpecto (man) - United States

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43154) - you deserved it (19521)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (2942)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (1956)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18761) - you deserved it (35615)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (2995)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (29382)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45510) - you deserved it (5267)

On 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe (woman) - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (8730)

On 01/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by ugh (woman) - United States (Washington)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: