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ButterzXx

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 9:06am) | Search for a member

ButterzXx

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  • Number of visits : 1095
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ButterzXx's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (7098)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (2903)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

#18001464
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you deserved it (52331)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47pm - health - by kp - Australia

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64018) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (3372)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76821) - you deserved it (23584)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48464) - you deserved it (9807)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

#14397838
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (5145)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19882) - you deserved it (81702)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only 4 hours to go until I get off. FML

#13950658
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/23/2010 at 3:53pm - work - by Username -

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46122) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

#5969153
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (3416)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:07am - love - by Clunker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

#5661944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (3445)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by omfgmaya - Denmark (Vestsjalland)



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