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ButtersStotch

Offline (the 03/24/2014 at 11:23pm) | Search for a member

ButtersStotch

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 150
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ButtersStotch's page activity

Visits<b>anongucci</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 9:46pm

ButtersStotch's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of ButtersStotch's badges

ButtersStotch's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53487) - you deserved it (6502)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51593) - you deserved it (6522)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51508) - you deserved it (5389)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
186 comments

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42234) - you deserved it (4629)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (3978)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (3978)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52348) - you deserved it (13331)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42781) - you deserved it (5436)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (9521)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54367) - you deserved it (6010) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49737) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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