Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ButterflyHaze

Search for a member

ButterflyHaze

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 320
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ButterflyHaze : Butter than you

ButterflyHaze's page activity

Visits<b>Theloststranger</b> - 2 hours ago<b>LibertyLife20</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Cristian89</b> - 3 hours ago<b>eaglerob</b> - 7 hours ago<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - 9 hours ago<b>blondbombshell13</b> - yesterday at 12:33pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - yesterday at 3:58am<b>Project71</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - yesterday at 10:18pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - yesterday at 10:09pm<b>Badman6969</b> - yesterday at 8:52pm<b>andy594328</b> - yesterday at 8:38pm<b>Adam5858</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - yesterday at 7:33pm<b>ShadowVapor</b> - yesterday at 4:36pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:53am<b>184886837272837</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:57am<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:53am

ButterflyHaze's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ButterflyHaze's badges

ButterflyHaze's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking were I was. FML

#21219603
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15435) - you deserved it (4298)

On 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm - love - by ... - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (1701)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (14203)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28928) - you deserved it (9310)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46364) - you deserved it (6360)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27381) - you deserved it (35824)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

#21207995
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51797) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/13/2014 at 2:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39323) - you deserved it (5747)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35749) - you deserved it (3149)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40528) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (14119)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (21086)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: