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ButterflyHaze

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ButterflyHaze

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1825
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ButterflyHaze : Sad face

ButterflyHaze's page activity

Visits<b>ROMAD</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:23pm<b>boxbrandon11</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 10:29am<b>hare</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 6:40pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:44am<b>gummybeargirl</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 10:24am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 2:56am<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:12pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:56pm<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:32am<b>greaterdane</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:20am<b>nkb94</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 1:48am<b>hawkeyepeirce</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:21pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:20am<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:51am<b>eddyinfinity</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm<b>omgwthilu</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:46pm

Liked!<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:59pm

ButterflyHaze's FML badges

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ButterflyHaze's favorite FMLs

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34944) - you deserved it (4312)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (3023)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (4294)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my annoying colleague gasped, wrapped her arms around herself, started sweating and curled up in a ball crying, "No, no, no" in front of several customers. They accused me of 'setting her off', when I blurted out, "Sorry, she gets panic attacks". All I did was say the word 'abortion'. FML

#21281594
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28553) - you deserved it (5207)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:31am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (7036)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (2991)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (3792)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30121) - you deserved it (4899)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (5759)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (4723)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (394) - you deserved it (7915)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38968) - you deserved it (5557)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)



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