About ButterflyHaze : Bruh
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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ButterflyHaze's favorite FMLs
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
by Nasty / 04/25/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Dipping Tired / 04/20/2016 at 7:17pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML
by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals
by iliana74 / 04/20/2016 at 12:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I scored the number of a cute girl. I gave her mine as well, just before leaving the bar. As I waved her goodbye, I attempted to do a cheesy "call me" gesture with my thumb and pinky finger, and winked. For a reason unknown to me, I ended up flipping her off. I still winked though. FML
by killme.jpeg / 04/17/2016 at 9:04pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I tried to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years, she had no idea we were even dating. She thought of all the movies, dinners and "sleep overs" I had with her was because we were such great friends. FML
by K.S.S. / 04/16/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my friend asked me for advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. I've never done it before so I googled it, my own boyfriend happened to walk in and now isn't speaking to me. He won't believe me when I say it was "for a friend." FML
by howtobreakup / 04/11/2016 at 12:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML
by bruised / 04/11/2016 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by only child says fuck you mom / 04/10/2016 at 10:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by WHY / 03/31/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
by Anonymous / 02/24/2016 at 11:39am / Health
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
by BikerGuy / 02/24/2016 at 1:31am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML
by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids