Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ButterflyHaze

Search for a member

ButterflyHaze

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13005
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About ButterflyHaze : Sun and smiles ☀️😋

ButterflyHaze's page activity

Visits<b>uchihastephy88</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:52am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:06pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:08pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:21pm<b>andiiibandiii526</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:38pm<b>dreadlocmask</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:28am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:44pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:00pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:49pm<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 9:14pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 4:08pm<b>DJ_Pelco</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:11am<b>jjmack34</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 9:54pm<b>Steve97</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 1:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 7:19pm<b>mojopin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:33am<b>WD_Stevens</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:06am

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:09am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:08am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 10:49pm<b>boultzboi</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 10:08pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 5:00pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:59pm

ButterflyHaze's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ButterflyHaze's badges

ButterflyHaze's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML

#21464364
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (1147)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:40am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while making out in my car, the guy I was with decided it'd be a great idea to stick his tongue in my ear. He shoved it in so far that my ear still feels wet four hours later. FML

#21464284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (1603)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

#21464255
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14653) - you deserved it (4499)

On 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm - love - by bestgirlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19767) - you deserved it (1476)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (1561)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1197)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18870) - you deserved it (1398)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (1583)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (1815)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (1193)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (1374)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (1249)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: