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Burton_Forever

Offline (the 01/15/2016 at 6:40am) | Search for a member

Burton_Forever

10Fucked!

Burton_ForeverBurton_Forever
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Burton_Forever : Film plant worker! Operator trainee!, Message me if you have questions!

Burton_Forever's page activity

Visits<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:45pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:35pm<b>life_smh</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:12am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 2:49pm<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:37am<b>Soniarita</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:03pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 2:24am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 3:22pm<b>chips0843</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:04am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Lanker</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 10:13am<b>tigerman65</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:09pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 11:04am<b>msk1155</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:34am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:05am<b>jerbear91</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:34am<b>mimihuseen_</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:29am

Fucked!<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 5:38pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:13am<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:28pm<b>kmw003</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:52pm<b>teenagesyndrome</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:08pm<b>KittehGrey</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:49am<b>Anonypus</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:05am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:40am<b>mimidamian</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:44pm

Burton_Forever's FML badges

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Burton_Forever's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

#21509335
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (4807)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

#21459115
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (3773)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm - love - by cuckoo (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (5417)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (3284)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (4906)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38239) - you deserved it (4513)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47923) - you deserved it (10562) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44735) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40078) - you deserved it (3751)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38657) - you deserved it (15936)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52713) - you deserved it (4286)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56088) - you deserved it (8141)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58646) - you deserved it (5710)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States



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