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Burton_Forever

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Burton_Forever

4Fucked!

Burton_ForeverBurton_Forever
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 909
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Burton_Forever : College student, part time worker, computer drafting is my future job, Message me if you have questions!

Burton_Forever's page activity

Visits<b>Houghmonsta21</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:26am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 10:16am<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:16am<b>Yazoo77</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 7:16pm<b>WellThatWasRude</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:22pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:58am<b>ejsigusbamao</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 5:35pm<b>lamadrama</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:57pm<b>bosfk</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:43pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 7:39am<b>LilyLi</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:22am<b>Anonypus</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:05am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:59pm<b>RusticChick</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 9:46am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:36pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 9:31pm<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:20pm<b>brittanyrose329</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:48pm

Fucked!<b>Anonypus</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:05am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 4:34am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 8:40am<b>mimidamian</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:44pm

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The Mixer

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Burton_Forever's favorite FMLs

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (4491)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25981) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24429) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37180) - you deserved it (4414)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (9443) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

#21182176
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42880) - you deserved it (3886)

On 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by Alex (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (3591)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (15618)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51408) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54551) - you deserved it (7950)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47290) - you deserved it (4798)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55142) - you deserved it (5363)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (4198)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50828) - you deserved it (10896)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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