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  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 18 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1941
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Burton_Forever : Film plant worker! Process operator! Message me if you have questions! GIVE ME FUCKS

Burton_Forever's page activity

Visits<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 11/21/2016 at 10:39am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/19/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 8:03pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 9:37am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:50pm<b>Westifer</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 2:48pm<b>danceinconverse</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 8:50am<b>dougschoonmaker</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 4:04am<b>jasmine2301</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 7:15am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 6:56am<b>disturbedgd</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 2:49am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 5:24pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 6:28pm<b>yanalynch</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:05pm<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 10:29am<b>alohaui</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:52pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:49am

Fucked!<b>jasmine2301</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 5:11am<b>Rozay333</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 3:34am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 5:23pm<b>StateOfEuphoria</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 6:58am<b>Celion91</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:28am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 11:35am<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 10:28am<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 6:21pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:04pm<b>worthypegram1</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:06am<b>nenita777</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:00pm<b>pshtuthinkicare</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 7:33pm<b>TinyRiver</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 3:45am<b>Smurphy121</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:29am<b>ktpnothappening</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 3:42am<b>Jennaaay</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 5:38pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 8:13am<b>missa8604</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:28pm

Burton_Forever's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Burton_Forever's badges

Burton_Forever's favorite FMLs

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

by bruised / 04/11/2016 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2015 at 10:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML

by cuckoo / 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

by oh no / 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

by Alex / 06/20/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Kids

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

by RIP_Nose / 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

by DaggerHole / 03/06/2014 at 9:54am / Australia / Health

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous