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Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34619) - you totally deserved it (1146)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you totally deserved it (2328)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:08am - kids - by laurwitharawr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18702) - you totally deserved it (9403)
On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you totally deserved it (1566)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you totally deserved it (6363)
On 10/02/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by asshole (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went our school's football game against their rival team. Before the games started, I got my school's logo painted on my face. After nearly 5 hours of watching the game, I went home to wash the paint off my face, only to find the logo had been sunburned onto my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7822) - you totally deserved it (18235)
On 09/25/2009 at 6:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5365) - you totally deserved it (44456)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you totally deserved it (24189)
On 09/21/2009 at 12:02am - love - by anonymouss (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you totally deserved it (29927)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12895) - you totally deserved it (46876)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6378) - you totally deserved it (28542)
On 09/17/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by almostmugged (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27827) - you totally deserved it (3333)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by livin (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you totally deserved it (2224)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you totally deserved it (2265)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4838) - you totally deserved it (37602)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)
