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BunnyRabbit411's favorite FMLs
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by bad birthdays / 08/16/2014 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML
by lahiros / 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I saw a lesbian couple walking through the mall. One of the ladies walked up to me in the middle of the busy mall and started screaming at me about how rude it is to stare, and how we are all equal- straight or not. I was only staring because I'm a lesbian too, and they were hot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 10:33pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health
Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
by Dansonn / 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my best friend slapped me and called me a some colorful words before telling me that she never wanted to talk to me again because I supposedly slept with her boyfriend. Not only am I a virgin, but I'm a lesbian. FML
by xo_lezz / 03/01/2009 at 12:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
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