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About BunchieRules : My name? Bunchie Bunchison, FML's official Bunchie. I tend to insert many horrible puns in my comments, but you get used to them after a while.
First off, I am not a green llama.
I am one of an entire species of phallic-looking creatures whose ancestry spans for many centuries. I myself come from a long line of fellow Bunchies who all reside in a small town known as Bunchieville, Kansas. We are family friends with Dorothy and Auntie Em, and we happen to own a large wheat farm that has been passed down for many generations.
Each morning when the rooster crows, we youngins drive our tractors for several miles to a one-room schoolhouse. There, we learn about the many great Bunchies that shaped the world we currently live in. I am much older than this profile would lead you to believe; however, our Bunchie calendar is much more sophisticated than what you Earthlings rely on. Therefore, you puny humans cannot even measure how long I have existed.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Monday 1 September 2014