Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BumbleChick

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

BumbleChick

5Fucked!

BumbleChickBumbleChick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2554
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BumbleChick : Just a broke college student that studies, works out, and is trying to live life.

BumbleChick's page activity

Visits<b>sanchogrim</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 12:44am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:12am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:59am<b>ChaoticGamer</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 11:01am<b>ballislife2324</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Mons</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 9:55am<b>melons</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:16am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 9:25am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 11:13pm<b>jqmalang</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Anonypus</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:08am<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:10pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:52pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:49am<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:59pm<b>_LoveSucks_21</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:40pm<b>15Erik</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 2:26am<b>Dramori</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:03am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:12pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 5:13am<b>15Erik</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:26am<b>ChasityCook</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:13pm

BumbleChick's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of BumbleChick's badges

BumbleChick's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44851) - you deserved it (7151)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (12091)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54254) - you deserved it (27910)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

#20981063
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49655) - you deserved it (6151)

On 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by KarateKid76 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29003) - you deserved it (56993)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52927) - you deserved it (6883)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45169) - you deserved it (9573)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66751) - you deserved it (5396)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44934) - you deserved it (4264)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72086) - you deserved it (10738)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55721) - you deserved it (5970)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58368) - you deserved it (7204)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: