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Bulbadragon's favorite FMLs
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by filipkm / 05/06/2016 at 10:37am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Health
by jack the ripped / 04/30/2016 at 12:38am / United States / Health
by AintEasyBeinWheezy / 04/28/2016 at 2:26pm / United States / Health
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/26/2016 at 1:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by gabimk23 / 03/23/2016 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 3:29am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by Wolf6661 / 03/14/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I started a new job as a receptionist at a nursing home. When two men came in saying, "We're here for Mr. Christensen," I paged him to come to the front desk. Apparently, these men had come from the funeral home to pick up Mr. Christensen's body. I was completely unaware that anyone had died. FML
by alex / 03/13/2016 at 3:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I made 2 beautifully decorated cakes for Mother's Day. One was for my mother in law and the other for my mum. I came down to pack my mum's and found they had both been half eaten. My brother in law decided he wanted to try a bit of both to decide which was better. FML
by mancuneanway / 03/06/2016 at 8:11am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Miscellaneous
by MrAries / 03/02/2016 at 6:45am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/02/2016 at 12:06am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML
by Baegel / 03/01/2016 at 8:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…