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BubbleGrunge's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML
by mademoiselle meurtre / 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
by Iwtumn / 03/17/2015 at 12:52pm / Austria / Health
by D: / 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Money
by sophiae123 / 01/17/2015 at 10:50pm / United States (Michigan) / Money
Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, so many people were coming over and our neighbors know we're Egyptian. They called the cops… Today, I barely woke up and remembered that I had to throw out the trash in the garbage shoot on my… Today, my parents rejected my plans to stay home for the week while they visit my brother. I had an…