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BryanThaMan's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
BryanThaMan's favorite FMLs
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
by whyme27 / 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I was cutting the grass, it was really hot and I fainted. I woke up to see my mom standing over me. I thought she was going to freak out and call an ambulance. Instead she said, "Good, you're up. Now you can finish." FML
by Aw522 / 05/30/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Brittany / 03/27/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 1:26pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
by anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
by crotchshothottie / 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
- Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…