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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
BrutalNightmares's favorite FMLs
by msmidnight1965 / 09/22/2013 at 1:22pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tastetherainbow / 07/07/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
by heyyoitsapotato / 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm / United States / Work
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
by faitoh / 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Lisburn) / Transportation
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- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I got dumped for the second time by the guy that I'd been seeing. He actually forgot that… 3Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost 4 months. He was always worried I would cheat on him,…
- Today, along with my virginity, my boyfriend took my laptop, iPhone, TV, and most of the food in my… Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions… Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack…
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, my driving instructor was over 30 minutes late and when I texted him to ask where he was he… Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the…