Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BrunetteHottiie

Search for a member

BrunetteHottiie
  • Town/Country : Seattle, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 March 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1403
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About BrunetteHottiie : I am me. I am bored.

BrunetteHottiie's last visitors

FreezemelibuxxMiiNiiAJ_asher

BrunetteHottiie's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

BrunetteHottiie's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger then me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22652) - you deserved it (37788)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41354) - you deserved it (6466)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time. She greeted us holding a baby, and I told her how cute her son was. She told me that it was her grandson. Turns out my boyfriend is the father. We're 16. FML

#5106151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Notyourstepmom - United States (Nevada)

Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (4962)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

#4708502
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (1972)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by whoababy55 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

#4703567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (44833)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48196) - you deserved it (33835)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43882) - you deserved it (3308)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38589) - you deserved it (8812)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36149) - you deserved it (20804)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

#4577302
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12194) - you deserved it (54649)

On 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm - kids - by Overflow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (15155)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: