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BrownSuger_96's favorite FMLs
by sugarysofalof / 06/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML
by MonsterInLaw / 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
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- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m in Rome for Halloween. I went out with few friends and spent the night with a man. The… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…