Brooklynxman

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Brooklynxman

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 March 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 39113
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Brooklynxman's page activity

Visits<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:26pm<b>sa5v</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 2:28pm<b>quetzelcoaltus</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 7:57pm<b>Terzy</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 6:36pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:15am<b>Qwerty86</b> - the 02/26/2010 at 8:51pm<b>AnaMaree</b> - the 12/22/2009 at 2:47pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/18/2009 at 4:36pm<b>brutallyhonest24</b> - the 10/14/2009 at 12:09am<b>aaahhg</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 8:30am<b>hot_mess88</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 5:09pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 4:59pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 9:03pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 3:41pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 1:07am<b>kerrygirl</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 4:15am<b>GeometricAngle</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 11:47pm<b>TheRetard</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 2:50am

Fucked!<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:26pm

Brooklynxman's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brooklynxman's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

by btg / 02/06/2010 at 1:27am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

by snowman / 02/06/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

by Henry / 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

by whoknows?! / 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm / Love

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML

by michelle / 02/05/2010 at 2:01pm / Intimacy

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

by fububc / 02/05/2010 at 10:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

by hickey / 02/05/2010 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

by MachoFluster / 02/05/2010 at 2:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I grounded my son for being a smart ass. Now he can't go to the cub scout campout this weekend. He's been howling, sobbing, stomping, slamming and screaming for about three continuous hours. I am not sure who this punishment has inflicted more suffering on: my son or me. FML

by Mom / 02/05/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

by boostedsaab / 02/05/2010 at 12:35am / Love

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

by eemp / 02/05/2010 at 12:01am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

by 102496 / 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm / Kids

Today, I was riding a bus. After having a conversation with my friend, I looked down and saw a little boy looking at me. He asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" As if that wasn't bad enough, when I responded that I was a girl, he said, "Oh. So, why do you have a boy voice then?" FML

by luciaspiano / 02/04/2010 at 7:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years spent a whole hour making me promise that if he ever died, I would never try to find someone else. FML

by confused / 02/04/2010 at 11:12am / Love