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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (4566)
On 06/18/2009 at 12:52am - love - by savvylady (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (11644)
On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at IHOP. When I left, a middle aged man in the parking lot offered me $100 to sleep with him in the dumpsters behind the building. That is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35384) - you deserved it (2650)
On 06/17/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Pancakegirl - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (3270)
On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52673) - you deserved it (4452)
On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39203) - you deserved it (24861)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (2763)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (2433)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my fish's tank was all green and nasty, but I had no time to clean it because I woke up late, so the job was left to my mom. When I came back, the water level seemed high, and the fish looked a little strange, so I asked my mom what she did. She said "I cleaned the tank with chlorine!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38353) - you deserved it (23038)
On 03/17/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by Poorfish (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27172) - you deserved it (1349)
On 01/24/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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