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Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5556) - you totally deserved it (709)
On 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (2663) - you totally deserved it (7597)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7832) - you totally deserved it (1114)
On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3779) - you totally deserved it (10544)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3179) - you totally deserved it (11350)
On 11/20/2009 at 8:56am - work - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14917) - you totally deserved it (2513)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2223) - you totally deserved it (13896)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my four year old got mad that he couldn't find his favorite character on the Wii. So, he decided to smash the Wii remote into my $700 LCD TV, shattering the screen. That was the only TV in the house, and the $80 service plan I bought doesn't cover accidental damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9819) - you totally deserved it (3020)
On 11/19/2009 at 4:14pm - kids - by mizzy (woman) - United States
Today I met my boyfriend's parents. Later on, his mom pulls me aside and tells me to back off, saying he will never marry someone like me and he should be with a nice girl like his ex. They broke up after he found her in his bed with his roomate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13942) - you totally deserved it (557)
On 11/19/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by thenewone (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13724) - you totally deserved it (957)
On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12922) - you totally deserved it (1369)
On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15395) - you totally deserved it (1278)
On 11/19/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I was mowing the lawn and needed bugspray. I grabbed the first can of "off" I saw. Turns out "Easy Off" oven cleaner doesn't repell bugs, but it does give you third degree burns everywhere on your body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4778) - you totally deserved it (13214)
On 11/19/2009 at 6:36am - health - by fishmike (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11890) - you totally deserved it (1354)
On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML
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On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
