About Brooke__Lynn : Um..? Im a total country girl:) U name it I've either done
It or I wanna do it :). Talk to me if you wanna I guess.?=]
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12948) - you deserved it (57180)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (31116)
On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back.' Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30666) - you deserved it (7578)
On 05/02/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by ohtheshame -
Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71450) - you deserved it (5444)
On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2439)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (5951)
On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32606) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57595) - you deserved it (10127)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (7248)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (25030)
On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (34544)
On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32566) - you deserved it (8609)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29014) - you deserved it (2455)
On 04/04/2011 at 6:15am - love - by lonely (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (4903)
On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -
Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23991) - you deserved it (5211)
On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)
Monday 20 May 2013
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