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Brooding99

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Brooding99
  • Town/Country : DC, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 10 October 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Brooding99 : Yup

Brooding99's last visitors

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Brooding99's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Brooding99's badges

Brooding99's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

#17734043
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29597) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by stillkindahorny - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80477) - you deserved it (11875)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (3593)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11398) - you deserved it (54822)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML

#17710745
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (23302)

On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

#17521607
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (2975)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm - intimacy - by jimmy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (7303)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

#17503951
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (5410)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (30486)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

#17497875
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25312) - you deserved it (1824)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28746) - you deserved it (5091)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML

#17485415
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30017) - you deserved it (4433)

On 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (8909)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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