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Brodyparker's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
by whatadaydanny / 10/10/2012 at 9:58am / Dominica / Work
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by gumless / 05/02/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/18/2011 at 5:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
by levi69 / 05/18/2011 at 12:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 9:37pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by haleyfml / 10/27/2010 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
by lol smiley face / 11/28/2009 at 10:57am / United States / Love
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
by tacoboy / 08/21/2009 at 4:06am / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone… Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck… Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples.…
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…