About Brodie_Scotts : My name is Brodie Scotts, i love three things more than anything; movies, books, and my girlfriend. Life is going well at the moment, as it always is, but it's when i go to parties and get drunk, or my girl and i are getting high that i must feel a need to make an ass of myself because that is when my life goes down the shitter. Other than after parties or a little weed my life couldn't be better, i am currently working on a masters degree in Behavioral Science and am doing fairly well at it, any other questions can be asked in the comments section of my anecdotes.
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Brodie_Scotts's favorite FMLs
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
- Today, I asked a guy for directions. He said "well you can either go the short way or the long way,… Today, after many years of not going out with friends because I'm so self conscious about my acne.… Today, at the beginning of my shift, my resident thought it would be funny to soak my shoes, which…