About Brodie_Scotts : My name is Brodie Scotts, i love three things more than anything; movies, books, and my girlfriend. Life is going well at the moment, as it always is, but it's when i go to parties and get drunk, or my girl and i are getting high that i must feel a need to make an ass of myself because that is when my life goes down the shitter. Other than after parties or a little weed my life couldn't be better, i am currently working on a masters degree in Behavioral Science and am doing fairly well at it, any other questions can be asked in the comments section of my anecdotes.
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Brodie_Scotts's favorite FMLs
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML
by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm / Intimacy
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
by Laurel / 05/25/2013 at 12:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids