Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Brittney_E

Search for a member

Brittney_E
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6935
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Brittney_E's last visitors

alexmac222greeneyebeauty9niatrossTinyAsianManSoninuvaFreezeZebrasofa13natural_redheadashleeykailovenerds_

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (29230)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

#13327149
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (32467)

On 10/05/2010 at 6:46am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (5620)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

#13324993
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30830) - you deserved it (7861)

On 10/05/2010 at 12:47am - love - by June - United States (Georgia)

Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML

#13323289
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (2006)

On 10/04/2010 at 10:39pm - misc - by Ro (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

#13321505
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (2517)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

#13319257
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7279) - you deserved it (22697)

On 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by kat101 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65705) - you deserved it (7415)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

#13313277
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (3020)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:46am - misc - by screwthewilderness (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was tossing my car keys into the air and catching them. I threw them up really high, only to have them land in the branches of the palm tree outside my door, at the very top. FML

#13310040
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5707) - you deserved it (39855)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:10pm - misc - by 2234 - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (5058)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad found the ugliest picture my mom has ever taken. I show it to her laughing. She said it looks like me. I looked again and it kind of does. FML

#13307467
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (6622)

On 10/03/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by krt - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17504) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: