Brittney_E

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Brittney_E

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11646
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Brittney_E's page activity

Visits<b>Sansational_</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:43pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:13pm<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:27am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:12pm<b>maariyah</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:37pm<b>player20270</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:51am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:08pm<b>lushgum</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Killiannnn</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:12am<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:25pm<b>thes7274473</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:51am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:53pm<b>jellybear28</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:27pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:19pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:41pm<b>niatross</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:54am

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making my bed which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

by Username / 10/08/2010 at 6:53am / Health

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

by lindsey789 / 10/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Alaska) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

by Remember the parking brake / 10/06/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

by cantstoplaughing / 10/06/2010 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

by lookbothways / 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking to work through a bad part of town. A man yelled something at me, but knowing what part of town I was in, I ignored him and kept walking. Two seconds later I got hit by a car. Turns out, he was trying to warn me about the car coming right towards me. FML

by lookbothways / 10/05/2010 at 8:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.