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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11533
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Brittney_E's page activity

Visits<b>Sansational_</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:43pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:13pm<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:27am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:12pm<b>maariyah</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:37pm<b>player20270</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:51am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:08pm<b>lushgum</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Killiannnn</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:12am<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:25pm<b>thes7274473</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:51am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:53pm<b>jellybear28</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:27pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:19pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:41pm<b>niatross</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:54am

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

by Mick / 02/20/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

by crazyvulva9216 / 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

by noname / 12/26/2008 at 11:07pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the night in hospital. As soon as I was alone, I writhed and twisted in all directions in my attempts to pee in a bottle left precisely for that purpose. It was at that moment that the doctor, a good-looking guy, came in. My legs were spread wide and I was right in the middle of doing my business. FML

by la poisse / 11/19/2008 at 12:59am / Health

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

by Darkheaven / 11/17/2008 at 6:27am / Love

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

by mimo / 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm / Kids