Brittney_E

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Brittney_E

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11480
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Brittney_E's page activity

Visits<b>Sansational_</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:43pm<b>frnk</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:13pm<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 11:27am<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 12:12pm<b>maariyah</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:37pm<b>player20270</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 6:51am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 6:08pm<b>lushgum</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:46pm<b>Killiannnn</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 10:12am<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 5:25pm<b>thes7274473</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:51am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:53pm<b>jellybear28</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:27pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:19pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:41pm<b>niatross</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:54am

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

by married / 10/16/2010 at 8:31am / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

by robbed / 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 12:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

by fungettingdressed / 10/12/2010 at 8:57am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

by soccerlove09 / 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 12:59am / United States / Health

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

by jailbirdlove / 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy