Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Brittney_E

Search for a member

Brittney_E
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6926
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Brittney_E's last visitors

alexmac222greeneyebeauty9niatrossTinyAsianManSoninuvaFreezeZebrasofa13natural_redheadashleeykailovenerds_

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (6175)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8972) - you deserved it (38411)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19581) - you deserved it (2887)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

#13439777
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21776) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (15141)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (28596)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6443) - you deserved it (37343)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43574) - you deserved it (7924)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32875) - you deserved it (2567)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27069) - you deserved it (5480)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (35190)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (4361)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: