Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Brittney_E

Search for a member

Brittney_E

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8267
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Brittney_E's page activity

Visits<b>thes7274473</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:51am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:53pm<b>jellybear28</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:54pm<b>CurvyisCool</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 11:27pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:19pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 2:41pm<b>niatross</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 6:54am<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 2:59am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:54pm<b>Diegogonzalez99</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 4:36pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:30pm<b>natural_redhead</b> - the 10/24/2010 at 1:19am<b>ashleeyka</b> - the 09/06/2010 at 1:51am<b>Wheat</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 9:41pm<b>ilovenerds_</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 8:29pm<b>MisterAmazing</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 6:45pm<b>imusingfirefox</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 3:52pm<b>Sibel</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 2:53pm

Brittney_E's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (3057)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (6420)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9916) - you deserved it (41064)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (3043)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

#13439777
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (15662)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

#13433594
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7878) - you deserved it (30303)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6926) - you deserved it (38923)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (8160)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28510) - you deserved it (5636)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8560) - you deserved it (36744)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28572) - you deserved it (4626)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (3758)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: