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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Brittney_E

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Brittney_E
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4567
  • Number of comments : 417
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Brittney_E's favorite FMLs

Today, my car door and window were broken when a thief broke into my car. Cost to repair the damage? $600. Increase to my car insurance premiums? $40 a month. What'd they steal from my car? A $0.98 chocolate chip cookie. FML

#13475038 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (2142)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (4730)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (7186) - you deserved it (28124)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks (15254) - you deserved it (2105)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I was happy because we finally started having friends come visit us after months of not having company. I also realized that our secret stash of money was stolen last night while we had company. FML

I agree, your life sucks (16398) - you deserved it (2635)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by robbed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (10542)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks (5343) - you deserved it (19616)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (4890) - you deserved it (27013)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (36646) - you deserved it (5905)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML

#13413623 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (1869)

On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

#13406898 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (21974) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks (6269) - you deserved it (25413)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (2669)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)



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