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Brittanysway420

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Brittanysway420
  • Town/Country : No Mans Land, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 12 January 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 686
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Brittanysway420 : This stuff cracks me up!! Ha Ha

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Brittanysway420's favorite FMLs

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087 (430)

I agree, your life sucks (5933) - you deserved it (41649)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

#8944596 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (5991)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:19pm - kids - by lockedoutbabysitter (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (4099)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (12487) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5764) - you deserved it (20864)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (1495)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (5969) - you deserved it (15963)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (4714) - you deserved it (11915)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some random guy picking up $300. FML

#8750988 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (15947) - you deserved it (4207)

On 03/01/2010 at 4:55pm - money - by sdauner - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (5825) - you deserved it (17236)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (9536) - you deserved it (19975)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (7582) - you deserved it (25053)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out a guy I had a thing with a while back thinks I am obsessed with him. This is because when he said that we should be friends, I stupidly thought he was being sincere and bothered to call him all of three times in the last five months. Clearly a sign of obsession. FML

#8634041 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (2115)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:37am - love - by loling (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (27655) - you deserved it (1699)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)