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About BrittNeyyLove : Heyy I'm a fourteen year old girl who LOVES reading FML'S when bored! :)
R.I.P. MR.Mr the best of the best substitutes!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5933) - you deserved it (52483)
On 04/27/2009 at 6:04pm - animals - by silentbutdeadly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18325) - you deserved it (90929)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65885) - you deserved it (3668)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (71173)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63881) - you deserved it (5018)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (61523)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (115401)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54732) - you deserved it (12630)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (62955)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
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