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Britney_Rushton's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by rogerusmc23 / 05/23/2011 at 10:41pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Work
Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML
by marie12 / 03/26/2011 at 9:19pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Love
Today, I told my boyfriend I was afraid he would no longer love me when he returned from basic training. Hoping he would reassure me his feelings wouldn't change and we'd still be together, he replied instead, "Shit happens." FML
by reality_stricken / 11/04/2009 at 9:00am / Guam / Love
Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML
by FUSMC / 08/12/2009 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2009 at 4:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…