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Brilliant66star's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals
by Seriouslynow / 05/22/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on the job. After his mom finally got home 4 hours later, he called her a slut. When he got in trouble for it, he claimed that I taught him the word. Needless to say, I didn't get paid. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2016 at 12:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
by FuckingDone / 05/20/2016 at 7:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Kids
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, even though my boyfriend knew that I was a devout catholic before he asked me on a date, he's pissed that I keep refusing to have sex. Apparently, he thought I was just playing hard to get and that I would eventually drop my panties like all the other slutty "religious" girls he claims to have fucked. FML
by Bethany / 05/20/2016 at 3:31pm / Germany / Intimacy
Today, I needed the toilet in the night. Walking through my pitch black house barefoot, I felt something squish beneath my heel. Thinking it was a morsel of previously dropped food, I turned on the light to clean it up. My eyes met a twitching gecko body, with a flattened, exploded head. FML
by Kakapo4Ever / 05/20/2016 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/20/2016 at 4:09am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've been talking to. We ended up at his house around 4 a.m., but as we walked through the front door, his ex girlfriend was sitting on the couch, apparently waiting for him to get home. They still live together. FML
by aireeahna / 05/20/2016 at 2:04am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML
by pain / 05/20/2016 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Health
by bruised / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by goldenpuppy / 05/19/2016 at 4:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/19/2016 at 9:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…