Bri1029

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Bri1029

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 August 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5358
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Bri1029 : None

Bri1029's page activity

Visits<b>Adela21</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:03pm

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Bri1029's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

by blink_kid / 08/10/2012 at 8:57am / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

by Bobby / 08/10/2012 at 7:42am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML

by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

by couchsurfer / 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

by sincerely depressed. / 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

by Badkitty14 / 08/09/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

by feelsterrible / 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML

by flatfoot / 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

by MsConfusedd / 08/09/2012 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

by bellabreeze / 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love