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Bri1029's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML
by elijah / 08/17/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 9:31am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
by byegeorge / 08/17/2012 at 7:26am / United Kingdom (Hounslow) / Animals
by Sarah / 08/17/2012 at 3:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Megan / 08/17/2012 at 3:30am / United States (Arkansas) / Money
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
by rainbows? more like shitstorms / 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love
by mdp624 / 08/16/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
by Soap0015 / 08/16/2012 at 5:57am / United States / Work
Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 2:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by scarredforlife / 08/16/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
- Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the… Today, my boyfriend came to my workplace and presented me with a lock of his hair. His pubic hair… Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours…