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Bretzelife

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Bretzelife

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BretzelifeBretzelife
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 337
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Bretzelife : Hey There! Do you want a proton coffee? I Do Not? You're wrong it's great. How does the proton at the cafe that does not exist? Anything. If the proton coffee does not exist, then the gravity is not a conspiracy of Western governments to focus us on the theory and thus steal our coffee beans one by one. They are so evil that they even steal pistachios.
In fact, it is true, the proton coffee does not exist * goes into a fetal position and cries *

Have you ever seen the bright yellow ostrich fly in the sky? I Do Not? Ah ... No but ... but ... I'm not crazy huh, and have taken nothing illegal, just a remedy against constipation. It was rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb ..

In fact, if you mixed red phosphorus with bubble wrap, and that smeared honey, eventually heat in a flask and cool 34 Kelvin, could I get a new drug combining chocolate-dried beef flavor ?

Bretzelife's page activity

Visits<b>dom8697</b> - 2 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>brieee</b> - yesterday at 5:33pm<b>cmchappy</b> - yesterday at 1:14pm<b>awkwardtico</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:31pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:19pm<b>sam882</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:56pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 5:30pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm<b>SamBeast</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 2:58am<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:26pm<b>xninix</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:58pm<b>EmmaRey</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:25pm<b>chxlsea</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:09am<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:31pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Fhrostty</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:39am<b>noobsatin</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 11:19am

Liked!<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:20pm<b>brook823</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:35pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 5:33am<b>fickledrama</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:46am<b>kellyisapenguin</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:14am<b>kasey216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:49pm<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:34pm

Bretzelife's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Bretzelife's badges

Bretzelife's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I'm working for a company that makes over a million dollars a year, yet leaves me with no choice but to pee in a cup because they won't pay to fix the only toilet in the building. FML

#21355373
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (2052)

On 02/13/2015 at 2:05pm - work - by Anonynonynon (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML

#21294889
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30267) - you deserved it (7981)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML

#21285216
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31475) - you deserved it (2375)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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