Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 10 August 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 222
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Bretzelife : Hey there! Or rather 010010000110010101111001001000000010000100001010 In binary. What? You not read the bit? Bon bah too bad there's anything that robots that can read it. I know a robot, which is very nice indeed. I like this robot. With her evil pandas singing Céline Dion on combat. Yeah I know this is sick these pandas.

You've seen neon yellow ostrich flying in the sky? No? Ah ... No, but ... but ... I'm not crazy huh, and I had nothing illegal, just a remedy against constipation. It was rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb ..

In fact, if you mixed red phosphorus with bubble wrap, and they are smeared with honey and then put in the maple syrup, and finally the heat in a flask and cooled to 34 Kelvin, we could get a new drug can make pancakes in a rainbow style dark sky with a bunch of stars shining all around?

Bretzelife's page activity

Visits<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - yesterday at 5:44pm<b>umerin</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:43am<b>maj3st1cllama</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:01pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:08pm<b>dom8697</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 6:12pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 8:05am<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:19pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:00pm<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:32pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:07pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:22pm<b>GodPart2</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 6:10pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:03am<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 12:30am<b>BakenWake420</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:54pm

Liked!<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:35pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 5:33am<b>fickledrama</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:46am<b>kellyisapenguin</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:24pm<b>lexi_is_me</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:46am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:14am<b>kasey216</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:18am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:49pm<b>abbyycarper</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:34pm

Bretzelife's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Bretzelife's badges

Bretzelife's favorite FMLs

Today, my anxiety got so bad that when I stole a sword in Skyrim and resisted arrest, I had a full-on panic attack as I ran away. I ended up curling up on the sofa as my character got hacked to death on the TV. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (7548)

On 11/08/2014 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous S'wit (man) - Portugal

Today, my mother locked me out of the house. Why? The dog and her needed some time to talk. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (2373)

On 10/25/2014 at 8:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: