BreathingClover

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Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 5:04am)

BreathingClover

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1892
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About BreathingClover : I'm a very sarcastic, sometimes confusing guy

BreathingClover's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 4:37pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:59pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>isodontgetit</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:35pm<b>dontmindme7</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 10:31pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:58am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 6:50pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:19pm<b>Totalninja301</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 11:08am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>airbear18</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 2:44pm<b>lemon_70</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 10:52pm<b>DylanHasClass</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:26am<b>timjones_16</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:15pm<b>footballer6190</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 10:59pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:04pm<b>Dirtanian</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:59am<b>tainted2471</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:32pm

BreathingClover's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of BreathingClover's badges

BreathingClover's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

by haileelouxxx / 08/22/2014 at 8:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

by ReluctantAntEater / 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

by Kev / 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

by humdrummitydrum / 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm / United States / Health

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

by StephLo / 08/18/2014 at 5:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

by Hopeless romantic / 08/16/2014 at 2:20am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

by winstonweigand / 08/14/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

by UnSupported / 08/14/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous