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BreathingClover

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

BreathingClover

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About BreathingClover : I'm a very sarcastic, sometimes confusing guy

BreathingClover's page activity

Visits<b>Ethan_Engle</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:29pm<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 9:01pm<b>keleneki</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 5:40pm<b>abv96</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:19pm<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:21pm<b>shaquizzy18</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 11:23am<b>thedudeguy1</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:13am<b>Bluejay36</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 10:29pm<b>metalscales</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:19pm<b>himdude</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Rayes</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:30pm<b>Wrenne</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:13am<b>zebrabacon_jr</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:55pm<b>DougK76</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 4:16pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 3:10pm

BreathingClover's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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BreathingClover's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (4645)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44375) - you deserved it (5102)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44250) - you deserved it (7529)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (38612)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64267) - you deserved it (4102)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (5923)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37053) - you deserved it (10069)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (5685)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43343) - you deserved it (16460)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (44597)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47455) - you deserved it (7656)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32591) - you deserved it (8845)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML



FML's blog

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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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