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Brandonisamazing

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Brandonisamazing

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 936
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Brandonisamazing's page activity

Visits<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 10:42pm<b>coleiab125</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 9:55pm

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Brandonisamazing's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (7793)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (4279)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML

#19573864
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18583) - you deserved it (4680)

On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (9948)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31341) - you deserved it (6133)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (3824)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24128) - you deserved it (2362)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47126) - you deserved it (5188)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (19191)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (47341)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (11045)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (9308)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States



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