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Box0choklitz's favorite FMLs
by omgdesdes / 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm / United States / Love
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
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- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…