About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2975)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (6475)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (6475)
On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, stood in line for hours to see the new Harry Potter. Unfortunately, once inside the theater, I was stuck in the bathroom with the runs for the entire length of the movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (4996)
On 11/19/2010 at 4:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32938) - you deserved it (6342)
On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22168) - you deserved it (3509)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (5595)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43458) - you deserved it (3142)
On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15317) - you deserved it (18538)
On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (3382)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29631) - you deserved it (3188)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49422) - you deserved it (3101)
On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (8098)
On 06/18/2010 at 3:13am - work - by Stevo - United States (Washington)
Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (2227)
On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24427) - you deserved it (3326)
On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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