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"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (42445) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2168)
On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8646) - you deserved it (28648)
On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States
Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (2845)
On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -
Today, my boyfriend got a new rifle. He forced me to watch him stripping it, oiling it, and sliding things into its barrel. We then watched 'Enemy at the Gates'. I basically endured 4 hours of gun porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24323) - you deserved it (5923)
On 02/04/2011 at 2:59am - intimacy - by missbrit (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)
Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (3190)
On 02/03/2011 at 5:40am - health - by Summer_Jane (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7405) - you deserved it (21001)
On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36556) - you deserved it (2261) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my class went to Berlin. At the subway station, our teacher told us to get on the next train. I was the first one to get on and the only one who didn't hear her saying: 'Wait, that's the wrong one!' I'm lost in a city I've never been before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23717) - you deserved it (5048)
On 01/15/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Sachsen)
Today, I posted a status on Facebook saying I was depressed and needed someone to talk to. Someone commented on it saying "Just kill yourself". It got 20 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (11205)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:38am - misc - by Zmeilerr - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20098) - you deserved it (1946)
On 01/10/2011 at 9:03pm - misc - by snowbunny - United States
Today, I went to the toilet during drama, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6421) - you deserved it (36391)
On 01/06/2011 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man
Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5117) - you deserved it (34817)
On 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (2974)
On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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