About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (1989)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (1767)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (10747)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (6461)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (4877)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (3146)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105047) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (23659)
On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (2945)
On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (10444)
On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (2904)
On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54061) - you deserved it (3630)
On 05/14/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (37596)
On 05/12/2011 at 7:09am - love - by Username -
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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