Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bostern

Online | Search for a member

Bostern

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4904
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung

Bostern's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:26pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:44am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:19pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>sawapee</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:08am<b>mkr5014</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:13pm<b>danibugg</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:43am<b>vikky538</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:13pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:45am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:58pm<b>fmluser3250</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:09pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Tari</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:34am<b>mrabombboogie</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:49am

Bostern's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bostern's badges

Bostern's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (23872)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47339) - you deserved it (14025)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13363) - you deserved it (31567)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (1944)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22688) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

#20162883
275 comments

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (2668)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (51007)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (4270)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (3635)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

#20089281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15597) - you deserved it (8163)

On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16674) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: