Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bostern

Online | Search for a member

Bostern

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3006
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung

Bostern's page activity

Visits<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:19pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>sawapee</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:08am<b>mkr5014</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:13pm<b>danibugg</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:43am<b>vikky538</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:13pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:45am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:58pm<b>fmluser3250</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:09pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:49pm<b>Tari</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 1:34am<b>mrabombboogie</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 12:49am<b>AnimeAddict95</b> - the 01/14/2014 at 4:32am<b>Pwib</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:14am

Bostern's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bostern's badges

Bostern's favorite FMLs

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (7132)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (4318)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (9433)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32239) - you deserved it (3575)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (3758)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I chuckled at a "no smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

#8417763
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5104) - you deserved it (61278)

On 02/18/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by kaycie_lynn (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML

#8116532
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (4946)

On 02/11/2010 at 12:13am - work - by brit - United States (Colorado)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (13004)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (13004)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49832) - you deserved it (7887)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to go meet my new upstairs neighbor, only to find out nobody actually moved in. The noises that have been coming from up there were made by rats. Lots of them. FML

#7299222
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (1933)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (8102)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: