About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64355) - you deserved it (4192)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8462) - you deserved it (41326)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49263)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I bought a top with some other things. I went to the restroom and had diarrhea, but there was no toilet paper in the stall. I had to use the receipt from the store. I then realized the clerk hadn't put the top in the bag. I needed that receipt to get the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (9909)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckerrrrr (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (192748)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (4038)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car he pepper sprayed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108964) - you deserved it (6844)
On 05/11/2009 at 2:55pm - work - by Ilovelife07 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (3682)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100914) - you deserved it (3611)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55523) - you deserved it (2267)
On 04/10/2009 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63840) - you deserved it (4129)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59173) - you deserved it (22738)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (85320)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45879) - you deserved it (26147)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58689) - you deserved it (21122)
On 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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