Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bostern

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bostern

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6237
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Bostern : "The grass is always greener... in the coal mines. SO GET BACK TO WORK!!!" Kim Jong Un
"When life gives you lemons... HAVE YOU PAID YOUR TAXES?!?" Kim Il Sung

Bostern's page activity

Visits<b>justcause001</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:53am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:29am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:26pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:44am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 4:19pm<b>tpm45</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 9:42am<b>sawapee</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 12:08am<b>mkr5014</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 7:29pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:31am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:13pm<b>danibugg</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 12:43am<b>vikky538</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 6:13pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:45am<b>itsalanis</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:58pm<b>fmluser3250</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 5:47pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:09pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:49pm

Bostern's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bostern's badges

Bostern's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (9107)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (10769)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (4560)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (3456)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32192) - you deserved it (3560)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (3947)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36482) - you deserved it (6860)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (21271)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (6579)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (6579)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51741) - you deserved it (11307)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: