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BorgQueen

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BorgQueen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 726
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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BorgQueen's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10240) - you deserved it (33481)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35917) - you deserved it (7752)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42386) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7523) - you deserved it (39701)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (8979)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (31686)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (44849)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (16771)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (1933)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34948) - you deserved it (9142)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

#7556761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15587) - you deserved it (39859)

On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55900) - you deserved it (6391)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5280) - you deserved it (30817)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

#6568411
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (7114)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by randm1 (man) - United States (Utah)



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