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BorgQueen

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BorgQueen
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 730
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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BorgQueen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (8469)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (8505)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (1709)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21711) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19725) - you deserved it (5308)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18829) - you deserved it (7569)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (1983)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML

#19339659
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (21061)

On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (1919)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22340) - you deserved it (5638)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States

Today, I couldn’t have a conversation with my fiancé unless it was about Dragon Ball Z. FML

#19122021
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (6324)

On 02/20/2012 at 10:53am - love - by DBZ (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28241) - you deserved it (4697)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (7441)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42608) - you deserved it (4022)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I heard a notification on my iPhone. I thought nothing of it until we were done, and then I checked it out. My mom had posted on my Facebook, telling me that if I didn't keep it down, she was going to come up to my room. FML

#18135493
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28793) - you deserved it (12042)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by ugadawgs09 - United States (Tennessee)



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