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BoredomCentral's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by top dog! / 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML
by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy
by ohaifml / 09/04/2011 at 5:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Lorus / 08/23/2011 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
by WTFwhywouldyoudothat / 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous
by ChePow / 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
by Chris / 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML
by Augh. / 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister and I were reading the new FML posts. I sat close to the fan, and after a few minutes, I leaned against it for support. It immediatly sucked up my hair and started violently twisting it. My sister continued to read and shouted at me because my cries for help are distracting. FML
by baldintheback / 08/15/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
by eyeamcool / 04/17/2009 at 12:11am / United States (California) / Transportation
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say…